an venen ma (this woman )

Posted: October 12, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

barren waste of unkempt heart

tuber entwined to succulent earth

tongue laments tangible bite

resonant i go we part

 

 

a poem for @dVersePoets in the englyn proest  form which is a Cornish structure one i have not used before and experiment with

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Comments
  1. go1flo says:

    There’s a twist and a shock to this and I enjoyed it.

  2. kkkkaty says:

    Great metaphor …great use of words here;)

  3. Mary says:

    Point well made; and well written to form.

  4. Bruce Ruston says:

    Liking it lots

  5. Similar to Haiku, but in a 7-9-7-9 syllable format?

  6. Kim Nelson says:

    your cadence and diction are pleasing, melodic.

  7. Laurie Kolp says:

    Ooh… this is great… your first line will stick with me for a long time.

  8. brian miller says:

    nice….cool turn with the first two lines…from the heart to the tuber…parting is not much fun under the best of circumstances…..nice job on the form as well…

  9. mobius faith says:

    short and sweet with a pleasant lingering aftertaste.

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