Short Thread

Posted: July 1, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

four holes,

four ways to place cotton,

in over across and out,

skirt draped over bare legs,

button on weakened thread

snapped off,

she was delayed,

but not deterred,

had he been there

she would of been conscious

of him trying to see betwen

her legs,

to glimpse that place she had

not yet decided he would discover,

priapic needle,

all shine blunted point

pierced weave,

length of thread stretched out,

with button half attached

she paused,

was it worth it

and waited

stood placing skirt on the chair

going before the mirror,

she saw her yesterday

resonating with tomorrow ,

removing the blouse,

an open window touched

her calmly  with a breeze,

bathroom steamed over from an

earlier shower ,

quick after work,

twisted faucets water gushed

into the tub,

swirled about the edge

catching old foam bubbling

into the new,

a song from the radio came

into her head as she tilted forward,

beyond the comfort warmth of

the room,

a door slammed.

 

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Comments
  1. zongrik says:

    i like how this starts as something spacial (the four holes, the zig zag motion) then ends in sound (the music, the sound of the water in the bathroom…

    3 radio button senryu

  2. I, not surprisingly, loved the use of priapic. You tell the story well with vivid imagery and alluding action, intriguing.

  3. Sensual questioning….but the sound of that slamming door ends it well

  4. Lovely. Especially the ending lines leading up to the slamming door. Thanks for following my page – I will be taking a further look around yours too! 🙂

  5. ManicDdaily says:

    An intriguing interesting poem – the details are so fraught and so well carried out – the breeze touching her breast then slamming the door is just great – the old suds mixing with new song. k.

  6. hiroshimem says:

    I like the:
    “with button half attached / she paused”. Your use of the slow unbuttoning renders well her pondering over the question… Great ending to it!

  7. brian miller says:

    nice…really effective slam of the door at the end…some really great touches…the breeze on her skin when she takes her shirt off…the thoughts at whether he would be allowed there….nice…..great piece…

  8. Great imagery in this one. The slamming door at the end was the perfect touch!

  9. Very good portrayal of her reflections, ending with a slammed door that leaves the reader wondering what is going to happen ~ But I suspect, she has decided ~

    http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.ca/2012/06/koan-poems-sepia-sky-and-faded-lace.html

  10. Ravenblack says:

    Good telling. I like how you painted the scene and just her thoughts as she sews is enough to tell the story. 🙂

  11. Claudia says:

    that slamming door works very effective after following her thread of thoughts for a while…

  12. A lingering and sensual tale, nicely done.

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