gravedigger stooped in graveyard
tearing apart my dream
throat stretched not to yell but holler the blues
within dense comfort of the blues
fear crawled away from skull borne graveyard
memory contorted as a dream
barren stone studded dream
verse of longing in the blues
as i dig my knees in dirt at the graveyard
solace in the graveyard ? no but found a dream and blues
inspired by Ida Cox and Graveyard Dream Blues (1923) for @dVersePoets http://dversepoets.com/2012/08/30/form-for-all-on-tritinas/
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This is wonderfully well done. It really does transcend the form–the repetitions working like echo, dirge, or blues repetition – agree with what all have said. k.
You did well with the tritina form, created a dark mood, though it ended on a positive note – with a dream and blues!
Thanks for the follow and I love your work, as well. You invoke different moods in your poems so brilliantly. I think we become better writers by reading, and that is because of talented people like yourself. You seem like a cool guy… a bit like myself ! LOL Thanks again and I’ll enjoy reading more from you ! ….Jeffrey Littrell
Thanks Jeffrey the feeling is mutual i like dig through life and all the best
THe form was fine, but best of all was the mood you created. So well done.
Victoria thank you and nice to see you call by
So clever this tritina ~ you make it look effortless ~ I did not find it so! 😉
Polly i sweated over it form is something i need to work on mixing it with the blues was i guess a bit mad, but i am glad you like and have a great weekend
This poem just demonstrates that form – here the tritina – is merely a tool, subject to the art of the poet who wields it. A unique, ambitious write.
Thank you i love to challenge myself in every way possible in my writing it is only the last year have i started to look at the different forms
A blues by any other form is still a blues – weird and creepy and perfectly apt. I liked it a lot. Inspired!
Thanks Gay i happened to be listening to Ida Cox at the start of the week and this came to me like this, hope all is well ,am camping at the moment so internet not so hot
the blues fits in so very well…tightly penned emotions..
Thanks Claudia for having a look hope your weekend goes well
If I heard a gravedigger singing the blues while working, it would bring me comfort…especially if the grave was for someone I loved so much…nicely done..
I loved the imagery, and the rhythm by repetition was a nice, haunting touch, considering the subject. My soul heard you. Thank you.
I really like that last line…finding the dream and blues ~ With you format, I didn’t even realize it was written in the form ~ Well done ~
so sad man….i find peace at the graveyard often but that is def when i am not visiting my own…he seen quite a many distraught in the dirt before their stones…
awesome end line. Really ambitious using graveyard, that’s impressive how you made it fit, and not forced either. the blues element here is a great touch as well. Really nice work with the form.