Removing The Day

Posted: September 3, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

milk white still cold

waited for the final coffee,

her shift finished at nine

and the day sepia slowed,

she wanted to shower

refresh her bare flesh,

to see him again

remove the odor of last fries

evidence of work

gassed and greasy

in stagnant place,

he knew her number

and would call

voice smooth,

evidence of love,

before showing,

getting into car

putting it in gear

and driving away.

for the Sunday Whirl


  1. tmhHoover says:

    I like the way each line weaves haphazardly, almost into the next.. Great write and nice to meet you.

  2. brenda w says:

    I love “and the day sepia slowed.” Well done.

  3. Character, as Mary mentioned, is intriguing and well written. More please!

  4. Thanks for sharing, Chris. Nice language.

  5. slpmartin says:

    A perfect short story in poetic form.

  6. Mary says:

    This is terrific! You wrote the story seamlessly, weaving in the wordle words unobtrusively. Loved the character.

  7. coconutspeak says:

    well done again, my friend

  8. Kumar Gautam says:

    any lady would say, its cute…

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