sonnet ad maius cor

Posted: September 13, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

the stench of you is flesh

rendered by nature not decay

all thoughts so urban bely

a beauty thronged as thread

be it in readiness

or in wielding time of need

i will taint mind of muse

with words as casual flaw

but duty burdens me so, where

to go i relent

a worse sinner than Christian

sodden by ale and speared temper

take my muse in long embrace

and make a marry forever.

 

first attempt at a sonnet so forgive me for assaulting your senses

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Comments
  1. Sabio Lantz says:

    My cheat sheet:
    (1) Latin Title: Sonnet to the Greater Heart
    (2)Slant Rhyme or “Half Rhyme”. Being of Welsh decent and fond of linguistics, this was educational.

    So, I see 14 lines – was that the only sense you meant this to be a sonnet? I don’t see any form of rime or stanza structure. Gay spoke of “slant rhyme” — were there any intended?

    I liked some of your phrases but would have loved to see them developed so I could understand them a bit. Great phrasing.

  2. beckykilsby says:

    Real strength in word choices, Chris. I’d love to see where you go from here and if you’re going to explore line length and meter to seal the form. Enjoyed the read.

  3. Jessica says:

    Great sonnet. The theme is wonderful….I’ve been writing a verse or two about my muse lately.

  4. claudia says:

    ah the muse…there’s much to say about her..and def. best in a sonnet..smiles

  5. Wow, Chris. This is so strong.

  6. Very much in the spirt of the form

  7. montygrant says:

    l enjoyed the whole thing, but what a great start, ” the stench of you is fleshrendered by nature not decay” thanks!

  8. I like the theme a lot! And your word usage was unique and apt. Of course I appreciate your slant rhymes (as I love them very much myself); but I think you still might want to work on line length and meter. It really does ache to have to do it (and takes a LOAD of time); however, you’ll be surprised – really surprised– at the result it yields. I consider this a dandy first draft, but keep going, this could be something super special!

  9. brian miller says:

    forsaking all chasing the muse…she has that temptation doesnt she…smiles…nice sonnet man, def encouraging to read another…smiles.

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