a storm brought cold,
an everlasting damp
to those corners you hide in
for warmth only to find them
not so secure,
they had climbed for an hour
back to the checkpoint,
road quiet
having to remain and
be vigilant,
headlights pushed the edges of dark,
the two soldiers moved forward,
bolts in position
rifles held ready,
far from barracks and city,
they could be trapped by the snow
that now fell,
old station wagon slowed,
pointing rifles
elderly man placed arm across the
chest of his wife,
simple protection,
one guard shook his head
nodding to the rear,
inside bundles of cloth husks of corn
simple trade,
snow began to increase
thickening on everything it fell
they could make it difficult for them
to prolong a stress and threat
but no,
cold quickly made them compassionate
and as the pick up left,
felt as though they had done right
Nice! It had a nice balanced feel as I read and I enjoyed the story, brief though it was.
stopping by from write at the merge!
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Thanks Cait wonderful to see you and glad you liked
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I read twice to really dig into it. There’s certainly more going on than the initial read reveals. Thanks for linking up with Write on Edge!
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Thank you and you will see me again at write on the edge
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I love lines 20-22, such simple gesture that says so much.
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Lovely. I like that the poem takes the tension in a different direction than you’d expect; those moments are important too.
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Thank you Annabelle and glad you dropped by
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A story well told.
Anna :o]
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beautiful
cold quickly made them compassionate
and as the pick up left,
felt as though they had done right
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Wonderful work, Chris. It reminds me of the story/movie A Midnight Clear. Even in war time opposing sides show compassion for one another. People are people…the good and the bad. I enoyed this write a great deal. Thank you.
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Thank you Brenda for the visit and what you saw
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Clench and release. wonderful poem, Chris.
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Thank you 🙂
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I liked this poem. If you’d like to read a serialized novel (500 wds/week) just take a peek at http://annekonigsmark.wordpress.com . Many blessings and good wishes.
Anne
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I will have a look Anne and thank you for reading
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The cynic in me has to ask: any chance there were explosives under the top layer of corn husks?
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Who knows every story has different perspectives and thanks for reading have a great week
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…and yet my mind reverses course and thinks about what the elder couple could be hiding. Being a solider in any time, especially in a tense situation tends to not be poetic and yet you have transformed it so.
My wordle is here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/09/sunday-whirl-75-nuts-and-bolts.html
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Thanks Jules and will have a look
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Bravo! Amazing!
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Thank you have a great week
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grips your thoughts with tension……..then eases away ever so simple and matter of fact way///NICE!
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Thank you Malin
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Well wordled – you built up a tense situation and let us down with a poetic gentleness that was lovely …nice
http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/09/22/releasing-an-angel/
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Hi clawfish, lovely to read someone with a passion for poetry.
Thanks too for following my brand new blog, Tarzana Is My Heroine, all the way from England! You’re my second follower, after my best friend’s kid brother!
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a story full of tension and excitement, and I sure did enjoy reading it….
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Thank you and thanks for having a look
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That is certainly beautiful.
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The poem conveys the story and emotions very IMHO.
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