one day the paint becomes too heavy for the wall
and as it falls
i snarl at the wooden frame window,
going beyond
the being drunk for days on end,
curled flakes green paint
like that of a psychiatric unit
even smelled of it,
my body grey
not creased by laughter,
ceiling fan
juddering illusion blades
imagined tugging away flesh
from my bioluminescent bones,
bareback
once ridden by the sun
penetrated by raw illumination,
walls began to shift
i am to be released
as a lost savage
in a wet city
velvetmedia 
such a raw poem but the line became your own in this. Powerful images invoked here.
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it’s tough when the paint falls like this… good though when they get help to unpeel the layers and the perspective for a fresh life again
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Terrific use of the first line. Can feel the seething discontent.
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A bleak vision, powerfully described. It’s amazing how many different ways we have all gone with this exercise.
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Wah- savage, angry, fierce…
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Great use of the sentence as extended metaphor
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Wow this gave me the most unusual sensual reactions of any poem I’ve ever read. This is shocking in the way an electric eel is shocking. I think this is genius that you were able to use words to give us such physical reactions – ones that I would guess would be a reaction to electro shock therapy, or drug rehabilitation. This poem is a COMPLETE success. I have read surrealists and modernists who have worked hard to shock but haven’t achieved the ease and success you have here. Really fabulous poem…this is not satirical, I am absolutely serious.
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…those curled flakes of green paint, a poignant reality some wake up with. It’s not an easy experience being shut in for treatment of a psychosis, detox, or what have you; I love the lines:
” bareback
once ridden by the sun
penetrated by raw illumination,
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i promise that if i become a savage going forward…
i will at least wear a loin cloth….
some interesting imagery in this…th e luminesense of the bones and grey flesh..
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ouch the fan and the flesh… some struggle here
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