Kelly and Collom Lune poetry form @dVersePoets

Posted: January 4, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kelly Lune

 

#1

waitress waits nearby

watches close

as coffee turns cold

 

#2

bitter winter sea

crawls on sand

watched by my old eyes

 

#3

my penis a coiled shrew

unsure now

of nights intention

 

#4

deeper goes the night

arc of moon

as one last whisper

 

#5

lobbyist fed fat

corpulent senate stride

all devil may care

 

#6

tv is not watched

unseen love

as i have crumbled

 

Collum Lune

 

#1

once its said

breath caught by pale indifference

my moment gone

 

#2

saturns many rings

given in wedlock to you

abstract stars collide

 

#3

war no solution

as to hungers angry stride

crops not guns

 

#4

you are secret

concealed by my winter poem

i only know

 

#5

cast long shadow

burnished by low copper sun

cooling my ardor

 

#6

blue painted walls

advertisement paled and nearly gone

i was here

 

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Comments
  1. Kelvin S.M. says:

    KL
    one: …the waiting’s getting too long… quite sad to make a coffee cold…

    two: …stunning scene as watched by thine old eyes… But too much of such scene could make one longs for a more lively act…

    three: …entertainingly clever…

    four: …i felt this… in many many nights… always has a unique tone of whispers just before my final surrender of the night…

    five: …a bit of politics in there… hitting one or two or more…

    six: …quite intriguing…i think of absence…

    CL
    one: …gives a thought of loosing somethin’… An opportunity or event i guess…

    two: …well more than one’s too many for a rejection..

    three: …clever proposal… especially in 3rd world…

    four: …quite sad that there are none that knows far better than its poet… but i’d like to hover and drink your secret/s…

    five: …quite a companion, yes…

    six: …and me too…

    …no..i seemed to like ’em all… Great offering Chris… Smiles…

  2. less is more. i like the short verses.

  3. Mary says:

    I liked all of them. It is amazing sometimes how much wisdom can be written in short verse. Of the first set, my favorites are 1, 4, and 6. In the second set, 1 and 4. Very fine lunes here.

  4. brian miller says:

    dang you really embraced this as well…and took it across the topics…i like the political one in the first part….ha, had not seen someone use it for that yet…

  5. Samuel Peralta / Semaphore says:

    When I said we shouldn’t expect a large number of lunes, I didn’t expect that some would rise to the challenge, as you have. A good breadth of themes in this collection, a testament to the versatility of the form!

    • clawfish says:

      Thank you Samuel i enjoyed working within the form it was interesting i know some are stronger than others but i always appreciate comments and i am glad you liked all the best

  6. Grace says:

    I enjoyed the various lunes specially this :

    deeper goes the night
    arc of moon
    as one last whisper

    The no. 3 made me giggle 🙂

  7. Laurie Kolp says:

    Had to laugh at Kelly #3! I really like them all, but especially like #2 of both versions.

  8. claudia says:

    nice..i like your range of topics here…even political…very cool snapshots chris

  9. Tony says:

    I enjoyed reading your lunes. There’s quite a variety here!

  10. ladynimue says:

    you are secret

    concealed by my winter poem

    i only know

    I so much love this.
    I say the same to my guy every night I guess 🙂

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